ISSUE #9
Discuss Your Plans with Your Children

As you plan your final affairs, make sure you discuss your plans with your adult children, or with your closest relatives if you have no children. This helps ensure that your wishes will be carried out. It also reduces the risk of causing hard feelings among your heirs.

1. Managing Expectations — By talking with your children about your plans, you help them avoid unrealistic expectations. If they hear your intentions directly from you, they are much more likely to accept them after you have passed away. Brothers and sisters can get into serious disagreements over their shares of estate distributions when they are unpleasantly surprised.

2. Understanding Their Viewpoints — Another reason for discussing your plans with your children is to understand their preferences. You may find that one child really wants to inherit a particular item, yet is indifferent about another one. This information can help you do a better job of planning your estate.

3. Unequal Distributions — You may have very good reasons for leaving one child more, or less, than another. For example, you may have one daughter who is an affluent CEO and a son who is disabled. You may decide to leave a greater share of your estate to your son than to your daughter, based on their needs. Yet it is important to discuss this with your daughter, so that she understands your intent. Most children assume that they will share equally in an inheritance, unless they are told otherwise.

4. Charitable Gifts — Many people leave gifts to their favorite charitable causes in their estate plans. Make sure you discuss these gifts with your children. If they know about your charitable intention ahead of time, they will accept it. However, if they see an unexpected charitable gift in your Will, they may decide to challenge it in court, suspecting you may have arranged the gift at a time of mental confusion. You can avoid these suspicions by clearly discussing your intentions with your children ahead of time.

5. Preserving Assets — If you own a business, a farm or a family home, you should discuss each of these assets with the children who will inherit them. What are their intentions? Will they keep it, or sell it? If you want to preserve an asset in the family, these discussions with your heirs can help you make the right decisions.

6. Location of Your Documents — Make sure you show your children where you keep all of your important documents, including your Will, your other legal documents, your insurance policies and your financial statements. This way, they will not have to search for them. One of the most compassionate things you can do is to leave your affairs in good order and well organized for your heirs.

7. Funeral Arrangements — Although you may prefer not to think about it, it makes sense to arrange for your funeral and burial ahead of time. This relieves your heirs of a painful burden, and it allows you the opportunity to make your arrangements according to your own preferences. You can generally pre-pay the costs of your funeral, cremation and burial, often at a sizable discount. Once you make these arrangements, be sure you tell your children about them.

8. Sentimental Items — Some of the most emotionally-charged issues in an inheritance revolve around items of sentimental value, such as jewelry, keepsakes, collectibles, furniture and photographs. Discuss your intended disposition of these items with your heirs, so you understand which items are important to which children. You may even wish to start giving some of these items away now.

Many of the difficulties and disputes that arise over inheritances can be avoided with good, basic communications. Even if you are not accustomed to discussing your financial affairs with your grown children, it makes sense to start doing so when you begin to plan your estate.

This publication has been prepared as an educational resource to help the reader identify areas of potential concern. The publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting or other professional services. The information contained in this publication should not be acted upon without first obtaining the advice of a professional adviser. 2004 © Florida Philanthropic Advisors, LLC. Material may not be used without permission.

Our planned giving director, Paul Ditlevson, can be of tremendous service in helping you integrate your giving goals with your overall estate plan. He can also help you prepare to visit your attorney. You can reach Mr. Ditlevson by calling 419-289-5090 or by email to pditlevs@ashland.edu or regular mail at 401 College Avenue, Ashland, OH 44805.